Mine zany friends, thou needth not wait any longer in thine baited breath, for today marketh Talk Like Shakespeare Day! Methinks it grave that we abhor such gentle talk this day, indeed I fancy many a knave and vile creature sharnt inherit even this, the blandest of speeches I ever did create.
I shrift, tis an arduous task, however one must respect the cunning and bravest of men – Sir Bill Shakespeare. And now, I think it best to retire for I am neither egal nor absolute in this! I bid you adieu and leaveth thou with something sweeter.
“These violent delights have violent endsAnd in their triumph die, like fire and powder,Which as they kiss consume.”